The Day Before Buffalo Changed Forever

By Paula Hayes

Paula Hayes

It was Friday May 13, 2022, and I had to stop at the Tops market on Jeffer son to get my customary breakfast and snack items for work. On this particu lar morning, I was alone because my daughter drove herself to work. As I parked my truck, I looked around the parking lot and it was kind of empty when there is usually at least a cou ple of school buses parked in the lot. I remember before getting out my vehicle to go into the market, I noticed a car over to my left and thought to myself “no that is not my nephew’s car because it had a bunch of stuff in it.”

As I am walking into Tops, a man walks past me and I looked and noticed his boots and I thought to myself “hmm, what is he doing here, I don’t see any work trucks of any sort in the lot,” because he was dressed in those boots and cargo like pants. I entered the store and proceeded to walk down the aisle to get my groceries. After gathering my items, I turned to walk away and the dude with the boot’s brushes past me in an aggressive manner and I am like,” that is so rude, the operative phrase would be excuse me”! As I am mumbling this to myself, because it was too early in the morning for this, I exited the aisle and as I walk back toward the front, over to the side is the dude with the boots, standing in the produce section literally glaring my way. His hair was bushy in the front so you really could not see his eyes. I said to myself “what is he looking at”?

Even now when I think about that morning, and how close I was to evil, my heart starts to palpitate. I make my purchases and leave. Only to return that afternoon, because I had to stop there again because my family was having a cookout for my niece who was getting ready to move out of Buffalo. So, there I was back in the store, and as I was checking out, I overheard the female manager talking to the store employee and maybe to another shop per, saying that she had to tell “him” to leave. Only for him to return the next day and change the lives of so many people, impacting our community in the worst way possible. It took me two years to even go back into Tops. There were days that I would pass by Tops and just get teary eyed knowing that the ones who lost their lives in such a hateful way are missed dearly to this day. I know that the families and the community are on a healing journey, as well as myself.

No, I did not loose a loved one in this tragedy, but I did loose a sense of peace and security that, to this day is not complete, but with God I know that all things are possible. It was more than hate that drove him to take innocent lives as he did, it was more than hate that caused him to choose to carry out such an inconceivable act of violence. The day before May 14, 2022, will for ever be etched in my memory as I (we) move forward and try to embrace one another in unity and love.